PANEL 1
A BillMatheson man stands on the stage of Cornerstone Theater, wearing a Shakesperian court jester costume with fancy tights. He’s playing Osric from Hamlet. Michael inspects the costume with pride.
BillMatheson man
Michael, I agreed to run lights, not to play osric in Hamlet.
MichaelSpecial man
Nonsense. Every teacher’s a performer at heart!

PANEL 2
On stage, close up on the BillMatheson man nervously delivers his line. 
BillMatheson Man
Look to the queen there, that HO!
PANEL 3
A frustrated MichaelSpecial man jumps on stage and confronts BillMatheson.
MichaelSpecial man
I love the energy. But can we hit the “HO!“ a little softer? This isn’t MTV.
PANEL 4
The BillMatheson man laughs while MichaelSpecial pats his back.
BillMatheson man
My acting came straight from the heart!
MichaelSpecial man
Your performance sure felt… motivated.
0

“To Ham, or Not to Ham?” – Mr. Matheson’s Arithme-TIPS for January 8, 2025

Believe it or not, I've actually done Shakespeare. My last show at West Liberty State College for the Hilltop Players was Hamlet. I played Marcellus (a guard at the start) and Osric, the flamboyant court jester. It was a fun show, the last one with my core theater group known as "the clique." I wanted to play Polonius, but an actor with more seniority auditioned and knocked me out of the running. Trivia: My girlfriend at the time and my current wife were both in this production as well.

The Clique: Billy, Justin, Josh, Ross, and me.

While I don't endorse calling anybody a "ho," when I looked back at Osric's actual dialogue from the play and saw it there, the joke kinda wrote itself...

Latch on to learning!

Bill Meeks
Creator, Everly Heights

Leave a comment